My Dear
by xninjasuperstarx
Summary: Beast Boy is devasted with the tragic loss of Raven. In his letter to Raven, He had told her everything he taught about her. What was it that he said? My First story, So don't go harsh on me. Character Death.


Dear Raven,

I still miss you. I have never felt so alone in my whole life since the death of my parents, and I still can't stand the fact that both my parents and

you will never return, but will remain gone from the face of the Earth, forever. Your absence still eats me up with guilt, knowing that I have

done nothing to prevent this unfortunate event. I have failed you and this mistake is something that I could never undo. It's all too late now and

I know for sure that this is something that I can't ever forget. You may have taken your own life , but I'm the true blame for this tragedy. I should

of known that you needed someone to be by your side, someone that was able to relieve your pain, Someone to love. You needed me. You needed

me and I wasn't there. I should of known that you had felt lonely as I do know now. I should of known that you had cared when the others

didn't. I should have known that you had loved me, that you had always did. I never wanted you to think that I had never cared for you. Never

wanted you to think that the Titans hated you, used you, or never cared for you. We did care, we love you, and we all thought of you as family,

but obviously we had failed to prove to you so. To be honest, when we first met, I did thought that you were creepy, but I have never dared

myself to think that you were evil and I was glad I didn't, because you weren't. Everyone had labeled you as a grouchy goth girl, others labeled

you as a sarcastic sour puss, many considered you an evil wicked witch, including Terra. Few considered you emotionless. I had never considered

you any of these stereotypes and never will. Yeah, you may have been grouchy and sarcastic at times, but that's normal. You are not a witch nor

an evil one. Theses critics were intimated by you, because they knew you were a very strong girl, who stood up for what she believed. Something

that they themsleves thought they would be able to do. A sour puss was something you were considered to others, but in my heart you were and

still are my sweetheart. You are not emotionless, but full of feeling, in a way that I was able to find it behind that monotone voice you kept

speaking with and the smiles you kept hiding under your hood when you thought noone else was looking. I understood that you weren't able to

actually express yourself the way you would have wanted to, due to the fact that your emotions were linked to your powers and that your father

was in unfair control over you. But this never did stopped me from meeting all those other you with pretty different color cloaks. Cyborg and I did

apologized to you for breaking into your room that day, but I still feel like I need to apologize again, so I'm sorry. After the whole apocolypse

scenerio with Trigon, you were able to express your emotions whenever you wanted to and I was happy when you had kept beating rage to keep

control before. But I was also happy to know that after all these years of complications, you had never given up on hope, always kept growing into

a better you. After writing this down, I had just remember that moment when you told me about the beast and I had always kept that advice

ever since. You see, Raven, despite our fights, I had always cherised the moments we ever spent together because they always meant something

very special to me. I had times were I had cherised meaningful moments between Terra, but if I had ever considered my relationship with Terra

"True Love", then I would had become blind, clouded with so many lies. I was devasted when she had sacrificed herself to save us, but was left

heartbroken when she pretended not to know us. She claimed that she doesn't remember who we are or what she did to us, how we would of had

wanted her back in the team after she was freed from her rocky tomb, despite of her betrayal. She said that things change and that I should let

go of the past, so I did. Terra might had been someone I had strong feelings for, but she was just a mere reflection of a love that would never

happen. Not heard much about her since the last time I saw her, but I know she is alive somewhere and that she is in better hands with someone

else. The difference here, is that I lost you forever. There could of been something between us, We could of made a difference for each other, We

could of been This " TRUE LOVE" . This is all my fault, I should of told you that I loved you when I had the chance, and I certaintly did. I had it

all the time. I thought I lost you when you had sacrificed yourself for Trigon, thinking that this was it, that I would have never let you know.

When that turned out to be false, I was relived thinking that you would never leave again. You see how wrong I was?! I was going to tell you how

I felt, but I feared that you would reject me, so I never did. I was selfish, self-centered into doing this. I was stupid for just letting this slide away

and now I have to pay for this consequence for the rest of my life. I have been pouring down tears throuught this whole lettter and I will

definitely drown myself for what I'm about to write. I do remember this dreaded day that had scarred me and the rest of the Titans for eternaty. I

was running down the hall searching for you. We had just gotten out of an arguemnt and I had said so many things that I never meant or ever

wanted to say. I rejected all of these insult, and guess what? I'm still punching myself for all of this. I was looking for you, so that I was able to

apologize. You weren't in your room, so I checked everywhere. I finally found you in the roof. BY THE EDGE OF THE ROOF, FOR CRYING OUT

LOUD!. I had kept asking what you where planning to do up here and you kept quite while facing your back to me. I had yelled at you to

answer me because I was scared that my fears would come true. After yelling at you, you turned around and pulled down your hood to reveal

your beautiful shining face, covered with big fat tears streaming down your dead-pale cheecks accompanied with your long curly-straight,

shiny violet blue hair that you had let grow up to your waist. Your violet blue eyes shone like stars, even through tears. You then took of your

cloak and dropped it of the roof. Your body was still in a very healthy condition, until I noticed your stomach. You had starved yourself, due to

your depression that I was too ignorant to notice. I was very confused to what you were doing, so I had asked you once again. You weren't clear

with your answer until you said goodbye. My fear came true and I heard the Titans running up the stairs concern about the previous argument

we had. I told you, that you don't have to this, we could still fix this, but you said that way too much damage was done and that everything was

too late. You said that I had cared all of a sudden, right when you were hanging by the end of your ropes. I said that this was never true, but

you didn't listen. I don't blame you for this though. I guess I already saw this coming. The Titans were getting nearer and the air around us kept

getting thicker and thicker. This was it, after several minutes of painful silence, you pulled out the gun that you had hid between your hands

while you were turned around and had position that horrible object to the side of your head and you said once more, "GoodBye". I went

hysterical and yelled out " Don't do It!". The Titans had finally arrived and you pulled the trigger, you then fell of the roof heading toward the

rockky shore. I went into action and turn myself into an eagle. I catched you and had landed with you besisde the shore. I had died in the inside

when I had finally saw you and discovered that you were dead. The Titans arrived, but I didn't care, so I acted like they weren't there. I hold

your body tightly never wanting to let go and I focused my eyes on your face. Although you were bleeding out, creating your own blood bath, I

was able to see a small faint smile that had formed on your face, as if you were relieved of your pain, your troubles, your suffering. Your smile

told me that you had moved along to a better place. A place where you would rest in peace eternally. I guess I was glad to know that you had

atleast died happy, but my world had ended without you. While examing your face, I noticed that your lips had turn cold blue and your skin

was ghostly whitish - pale. I felt your body becoming really tense and freezing cold. Your blood still kept flowing out of your head , escaping the

rest of your body, eventually stoping. Most of your leftover blood was still very fresh, other amounts had dried up. My tears kept falling on you

and had I had finally lost my head, my entire self. I screamed out in anger, in confusion, in devastation, in anxiety. I turned around in saw the

rest of our friends in some what, the same state that I was in. They were all in tears, having nothing to say, and I was back in the same painful

silence as we both were a few minutes before your death. Robin had told me that we will find a way to make things right and that everything

was going to be fine, but he knew that I know that this was not true. I did not want to give you up, I did not want to shove you in box and closed

you up forever, I did not want to even think about your body rotting away, I did not want to let them bury you six feet under ground. I didn't

want any of this to happen. Going back to reality I knew that I couldn't do anything about this. The Titans arranged a private funeral for you. I

went, but I left early. Your death had caught me off guard, I wasn't ready to say goodbye, not yet. We recieved many memorial tributes from

citizens all around Jump City, even more from Gotham. We had created a special memorial at the cementary and a special memorial at the tower.

We never removed anything from you room and since you had always kept it tidy, there was no need for cleaning it, besides just probably dusting

it. That first few nights after your funeral, I wasn't able to sleep. I had stood up all night trying to avoid those nightmare that had threatened to

haunt my mind. Nights later, the problem got worse. Between the days, I had given up the corny jokes and the video games. I stayed most of the

day locked up in my room and had went for long walks in the park at night. I had ate less than I usually did and had had rarely talked to

anyone else, but you. The Titans thought I was going insane, but just finally decided to leave it as a temporary emotional phase. Don't get me

wrong, they all miss you dearly too. Starfire kept making Pudding of Sadness for atleast three weeks and had forced us to eat it all. For the first

two weeks, there was absolutly no crime in the city at all, but after that, there was villains causing trouble about up to three times a day. I join

the Titans in battle, because I knew you wouldn't want me to let the others down. I loved the way you had battled with us when you were alived. I

missed that too. Everything that I ever did and everytime I did it, there was no moment where I wasn't thinking of you. Today would had been

exactly three months since your suicide. You can now and always see that I had finally declared myself as crazy. I lost myself somewhere around

the road of depression. Will I ever get myself back together? I'm not sure anymore. My wounds are to difficult to sow back in place. I know that

this letter was really long and I know how silly it was for to even tell you this in a letter, since you won't be able to read it physically on Earth.

But hey, I guess you will be able find out want I'm telling you anyways. Eventually. Perharps you are probably listening to me right now because

I'm sure you're spirit has moved on and its not settled beside me. This really long letter will be place by your memorial at the cementary and I

can't forget about getting a new bouquet of freshly cut flowers for you. I always get you one, so I expect people to realize that I'm the responsible one

for getting you so many gifts. I want them to realize that I really care for you, even in death, but most importantly, I want YOU to know that I still

care. I love you my dear Raven. I'll always will.

Sincerely, Hopefully, you're one and only, BeastBoy.


End file.
